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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952044">Goodbye Spring</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretswan/pseuds/secretswan'>secretswan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IZONE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:47:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretswan/pseuds/secretswan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yujin and Minjoo are at the beach sitting side by side along the shore, watching the sun set as they talk about how their love has end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ahn Yujin/Kim Minju</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Goodbye Spring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The breeze flows gently against my skin, leaving a slight shiver; the sun’s still up but soon will go down west. Although the tease of the summer heat can be felt at day time, the modest nip of the air is here as a reminder that spring’s still around the corner.<br/>
Spring.<br/>
Huh.<br/>
It hasn’t been a while from the time we said goodbye to winter… and it also hasn’t been that long since we last spoken our goodbye’s. I can still remember clearly the very day when—what, no, I should stop. Not this, not again. Please. Not now.<br/>
I then shake my head as I try to regain my focus back to reality, back to the present where my name isn’t followed with yours. Well, not anymore.<br/>
I closed my eyes for a moment; I need to calm my frantic nerves, I have to slow down my pounding heart, I must summon all the courage I can muster before you—</p>
<p>“Hey”—show up.</p>
<p>I glance up at your standing figure and… wow, up to this day I’m still in awe by simply seeing your face, I don’t even know why after all the years we’ve been together, you still have that effect on me and it also can’t be helped that the dim rays of the setting sun shines perfectly on your effortless beau—I mentally sigh at this, here I go again.<br/>
I gesture for you to sit down with my somewhat trembling hands, and fortunately, it seems like you didn’t notice it, or maybe you did, just didn’t care. Not anymore.</p>
<p>And now, we’re sitting side by side in front of the crashing waves along the shore. Muted sounds enveloped the two of us, apart from the constant sound of the waves crawling gently to and fro the oceanfront.<br/>
I’m quite thankful for it though, because it fills the deafening silence we both speak fluently of.</p>
<p>A couple minutes have passed between the two of us doing nothing but watch the sight across the horizon make known of its purpose, we’re testing the waters and I can feel every dip you take.<br/>
We’re both contemplating on who’s going to dare and speak first, we’re waiting for each other to let the knocking issue come in and start whatever this will lead us to.<br/>
But for a short while, no one dared to speak first, no one dared to start picking up the scattered pieces laid up front.<br/>
No one will—or so I thought.</p>
<p>“How is it going?” I bit back a snort at your question. How do you expect me to respond to that? I’m not okay? Or that I’m fine and that it’s—<br/>
“All good. I’m well. You?” Oh what a liar I’ve become.</p>
<p>“Honestly? Not really, but I’ll get there, I guess?” And I’m surprised on how blunt you’ve turned in to.<br/>
I don’t know how I should answer back to that so I just nodded slightly. And then the silence falls into its favourite place again, between us.</p>
<p>But this time, I decided to take the first step. The elephant in the room won’t talk for itself; so maybe, one of us should initiate the much awaited talk. I take a long deep breath to yet again calm my never stable heart whenever we’re together.<br/>
Though I knew for a fact that this isn’t the same as the giddiness I’ve felt back when we were together.<br/>
So, here I go.</p>
<p>“I-I don’t know how to start this—uh… maybe I should ask you a question first?”<br/>
With what I’ve said, you just gave me a timid smile accompanied with a cautious nod. I take that as a sign that you’re as nervous as I am.<br/>
Who wouldn’t be? When your former lover is right beside you after you both agreed to have the talk you’ve been avoiding days after you break up.<br/>
Who would stay poised after that?</p>
<p>I paused momentarily so that it wouldn’t be too obvious that I’ve already planned in advance on what I’m going to ask you.</p>
<p>“Uh…I just wanted to know what the reason was. I want to understand why you had to end us?”<br/>
From the moment we broke things off, this was the only question I had in mind. This has been bugging me every night, the cause of my sleepless nights and mornings with bloodshot eyes.</p>
<p>And by the way you sigh when you heard the word reason I can safely assume that you’re tired of hearing this question be asked.</p>
<p>“Like what I’ve told you before—” No, cut the crap.</p>
<p>“All you said was that you’re tired and didn’t want to do this anymore.”<br/>
With that, I had the courage to look at you directly with my eyebrows knit and lips slightly parted.</p>
<p>“That’s right. I was tired. I am tired. I can’t—I’ve reached my limit. I’m sorry.”<br/>
I’m stunned with the way you directly looked me in the eyes while saying this.<br/>
I’ve heard this slip out of your mouth before, and hearing this again still hurts like the very first time.<br/>
I wasn’t shocked but I’m still confused—<br/>
“That’s it? You got tired and then suddenly the only option you can think of was to leave me?” I asked in a reasonably irritated voice.</p>
<p>“You want more? Okay. I’ll tell you why I got tired. You were selfish and you were too focused on doing what you think should be done without even asking me first.”</p>
<p>I was about to justify my past actions but you are not finished yet.</p>
<p>“It’s like we’re on a race, you know? And you were running too fast that I almost lost you the moment the whistle’s been blown. You used too many detours without even telling me which directions you intended to go to. Because you are blinded by the idea that the end game will always be you waiting for me at every finish line of every race. And that’s when you got it all wrong, that’s when you started to forget about the vital points. You missed out the fact that I suck at following directions and that you too are bad at navigations. And when you thought we've reached the finish line together, that’s when you realized that you got the ways mixed up and that I wasn’t running after you.”<br/>
After what you’ve said, I was taken aback by a sudden snicker. You got more to say, unlike the day we broke up.<br/>
“I’m starting to think that you failed to recall the time we got together.” You’re swiftly bringing me to a trip down memory lane. You’re taking advantage of my silence.<br/>
So I guess you won’t let the emotions tone down even just for a bit.<br/>
Another chortle and then you brought me back to the most embarrassing but then again the happiest moment of us.<br/>
“I was a mess. You were avoiding me for a month, and then suddenly with a serious demeanour, you asked me to meet you at our favourite place—”<br/>
“Here, at the beach” I unconsciously butt in and I can feel the genuine smile plastered on my face right now.<br/>
I bit my lower lip to stop the growing beam because it finally occurs to me that I’m getting hypnotized by our past again.<br/>
“I thought you were going to say that we should stop with whatever we had back then.” What?<br/>
“Why would you even think that? Isn’t it obvious enough that I like—”<br/>
“You were avoiding me. I didn’t know what will happen, didn’t know what to think of us, and I didn’t know that you’ve been planning to officially ask me to be your girlfriend on that day.”<br/>
Heat suddenly rushes up my face at the mention of my epic proposal.<br/>
Funny thing is that it also happened here at this very beach, with the ocean as a witness to the start of us being officially together.<br/>
It was also…<br/>
“Spring. It was at the end of spring when we got it all sorted out…” How can I forget?</p>
<p>“We should be celebrating our third year anniversary next week.” You smiled, however it’s pretty obvious that it wasn’t a happy one.<br/>
And all I can do is mirror your uneasy smile.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” I blurted out.<br/>
“I understand it now, it was my entire doing. I was too selfish and too idealistic that I skipped reality. I ruined us. I’m sorry. I should’ve considered asking you first, I should’ve thought things through, I should’ve been a better partner for you.” What more can I do but to accept and acknowledge my own wrong-doings.<br/>
But I do hope it’s not yet too late to patch things up.</p>
<p>“You’re not solely to blame. I’m at fault too, for not speaking up and letting it all fill me to the brim until I can’t contain it anymore.” Regret is evident in your voice but… I can sense that there’s something else there.<br/>
And I also hope that it isn’t what I was thinking.</p>
<p>Another deafening silence occupied the space between us.<br/>
I can’t think of what to say anymore, I’m sad and disappointed and even angry with myself.<br/>
I want to fix this, I want to fix us.<br/>
I wish I can still fix us.</p>
<p>“I’m glad that we get to talk about it though. We’ve been sidestepping this discussion for more than two months now. A little bit more later and it’s going to be long overdue already.”<br/>
You got that small grin forming on your lips as you focus your attention to the sundown at the skyline and I can’t help but to ask and wish to all the stars peeking from above … what if it’s still us?</p>
<p>But why do I feel like it’ll be impossible now to do so?</p>
<p>Regardless of how this will turn out, I’m going to risk and ask anyway.</p>
<p>“Hey, I’ve been thinking… and, I—uh, now that we’ve talk about what happened, I’d like to ask if I—I mean we can maybe…uh… try this again?”<br/>
It sure hurts like hell when you slowly looked away from the setting sun as your smile fades and a wary expression took its place.<br/>
And then you looked at me with that expression, with your confused and cautious eyes, my heart breaks even more as my hopes shatter along with it.<br/>
Right at this moment, I hope for the ground to just swallow me.<br/>
I feel so small.<br/>
And I brace myself for what you’re going to say—</p>
<p>“Sorry, I—this wasn’t what I had in mind when I agreed to meet and talk about us.”</p>
<p>When you put it into words like that, what I’m feeling isn’t just a mere jab but a solid punch through my whole self.</p>
<p>“Oh. I understand. It’s okay. Please don’t say sorry. Guess I wasn’t thinking when I blurt that out.”</p>
<p>Sadness and pain must have been visible from my face because I can see the guilt building up from the way your eyebrows crooked upwards in worry and then you start shifting from your position.<br/>
Please don’t feel liable for my feelings, I feel even more ashamed of myself.<br/>
“I’m really sorry, it’s just… like what I’ve told you earlier, I got tired… of us, I got tired of this. And I don’t want to experience that again, the lack of air every time I try to match your pace. I need some breather, I need time, I need to heal first and to do all these, I need to be on my own.”</p>
<p>“I understand.”</p>
<p>So that’s it.<br/>
I get it. I exhaust you. I pushed you to the limits and now I’m paying the price of my careless actions.</p>
<p>I guess we both got nothing more to say because we just gaze at the sight unravelling at the distance.<br/>
The sun’s halfway down, it’s getting late, and a bit chilly too.<br/>
I’ll take that as a sign.<br/>
Coz’ maybe that’s the sun’s way of saying no, the way it slowly sets, taking all the light along with it, taking all the possibilities of today to come true.<br/>
Taking all the warmth our love once had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, it’s getting late and…I’m going to head home. Do you want me to give you a ride?”</p>
<p>“No, I’ll stay for a while, I missed it here…and Chae said she’s going to pick me up.”</p>
<p>Oh.<br/>
I wish I had a best friend like that, wish I had someone to lean on when it all comes crashing down.<br/>
Because after we called things off, I had no one else to rely on.<br/>
I only had you.<br/>
And now that I don’t, I’m back to square one.<br/>
I’m back to being a lone wolf howling, because I’ve got no one to call.</p>
<p>“Hmm, okay, I’ll be going now. Bye, Minjoo.”</p>
<p>Bit by bit, I began to stand up, shaking off sand from my clothes.</p>
<p>“Goodbye, Yujin. Take care.”</p>
<p>I’m going to act like that simple take care didn’t affect me.</p>
<p>I was a couple of steps away from you when I observed that it’s only the sun’s crown peeking and that the wind starts to bite through my coat.<br/>
Then I just noticed that you’re only wearing a knitted sweater, you must’ve forgotten to take a coat with you.<br/>
I was about to take off my coat—when I saw Chaewon put a coat over your shoulders.<br/>
That’s the coat that I gave you for your birthday last February, days before we broke up.</p>
<p>I know that she’s just your best friend but at this moment I envy her, I envy how you swiftly put your head on her shoulders, and in return, she snakes her arms around your figure.<br/>
I turned to walk away.</p>
<p>And before this day truly ends, I’ll once again wish to that star across the horizon for you to find genuine happiness… without forgetting that there was once you and me…on the last days of spring…at this same beach… watching the sun set, as we talk about how our love will have no end.</p>
<p>But this time, it wasn’t just spring that we’re going to say goodbye to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was my entry on the second season of JinJoo Fiesta, hope y'all liked it.<br/>I'm on twitter too: @secretswan_</p></blockquote></div></div>
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